Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of being present in the process of building, learning, and growing.
In general, as humans, we are trained to fix our focus on the goal, the outcome. We know that to achieve anything takes some sort of vision but how can we ensure we are invested in the process of bringing our vision to reality? That’s really where the magic sauce lies.
Figuring out how to reach a goal or solve a problem generally begins with a question. Or, when you’re confused about something. “Recognition of confusion is a form of clarity.” That’s what Leslie Kaminoff said at a workshop I went to earlier this month. It’s really true. I have been reading and studying the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali and Bhagavad Gita as part of the yoga teacher program I’m in. Both texts are rich in wisdom but like any deep and spiritual material, confusion is bound to arise. Especially when you mix in the perspective you’ve developed through your lived experiences, background, and beliefs. Yet, recognizing and being open to the confusion can lead to curiosity and questions which lends itself to the process of discovering something new.
In the context of yoga, students wonder why we practice the poses, or asanas. It’s a common belief that yoga is about the poses only. But those postures we see online barely scratch the surface of what yoga is really all about. Yoga itself is a process. The poses are a tool to gain a deeper understanding of not just how our bodies move and work, but how our minds integrate with our physical practice. For example, yoga truly helped me discover how perfectionism is the enemy of progress. Years ago, if I was unable to come into a pose exactly how I had seen it done, I would stop, stew in self-judgement, and think about how I wasn’t very good at yoga.
Since then, I’ve grown and now I am a card carrying member of the Recovering Perfectionist Club. Now I understand that being good at yoga has nothing to do with the ability to come into a specific shape. It’s the devotion and authenticity you bring to the practice. Of course, we’re all human and so I know I still get caught up in those tendencies from time to time, to be focused on the outcome and “perfection” of whatever I’m working toward, whether in yoga, work, or in my creative life.
But, I’m learning. And always will be. This practice of staying present in the process is in itself a process. I often think about this passage from Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke:
I want to beg you, as much as I can, dear sir, to be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.
Some questions can be answered easily. Others, many actually, may take a lifetime to answer. And even then, some answers may never reveal themselves at all. But, if we can at learn to recognize our confusion as a form of clarity and be Okay with the discomfort of uncertainty, we allow ourselves a chance to receive the fruits that come from being present in the process.
Katie Kohlbeck 